15 Things SOME Black Women Should Know About Black Men

Posted: September 2, 2010 in Relationships

Dear Ladies,

I hope this letter finds you well.  While I’m not an artist, I am a writer. So I thought I would take this time to let you know things that I feel some Black women should know about Black men.

 

1. We don’t think that every Black woman is a bitch, but we damn sure know the difference between a bitch and a lady.
It would behoove you to conduct yourself in a positive manner. We don’t have time for a lot of slick talking, unnecessary debate.

 

2. Your job doesn’t mean anything to us and neither does your title.
When we choose a mate, we’re more concerned with how they act, and if they’re able to carry on a stimulating intellectual conversation about various subjects. I’m not going to say that we don’t care what you look like physically, because that would be lying. Men definitely care about how you look; we’re just not as obsessed with it as you think we are.

 

3. We can’t stand your hair weaves!
We can’t touch your hair, let alone pull it during sex. So many of you start off with such long beautiful hair, and then the very next week it’s brand-new hair sewn in. This totally baffles us; it makes us feel like you never satisfied with your image. When it comes to choosing a mate we don’t want an indecisive, self-conscious woman. And we all know you don’t want an indecisive self-conscious man!

 

4. We don’t want to hear about your ex-boyfriends/husbands and how horrible they were to you.
We are not responsible for their mistakes, nor will we sit around and pay for them. If you have not given yourself enough time to get over your ex, do us a favor and seek psychological help before entering into a relationship with us.

 

5. No Black Man respects Steve Harvey’s opinion on women.
This man is a professional comedian who is backed up by Oprah Winfrey. How can you believe advice from a woman who can’t commit to a man she’s been with for over 20 years? That’s as asinine as me giving advice to a oncologist on how to diagnose tumors.

 

6. We know the difference between a wife and a jumpoff.
We don’t need to hear you tell us how much of a “good woman” you are. That will be evidenced by the way that you carry yourself.

 

7. Its true: All Men Are Dogs!
What you fail to realize is that all dogs have different pedigrees! It’s up to you to determine the difference between the poodles, the mongrels, the German shepherds, and the rabid pit bull’s. Depending on the pedigree some dogs are loyal, and some dogs are wayward much that you should never touch because you could catch something: like rabies!

 

8. We want a woman who’s going to be willing to submit to us.
Where women mess up, is by thinking that we mean that we want a slave, or a maid. A man who is bringing his A-game desires a cheerleader from the sidelines, who can double as an assistant coach. We also want someone who can play wide receiver as well as understand that there is only room for one quarterback. In layman’s terms, we don’t want you behind us, we want you beside us. We need women who are able to support our dreams and our vision without all of the nagging and jaw jacking that tends to come with some black women..

 

9. Your girlfriends have absolutely no business in our relationship/marriage!
Many of today’s modern women feel like they need someone to cosign every decision they make in their relationship/marriage. This annoys the living daylights out of every Black man I know, including myself. And that goes double for your male “best friend”. This guy either wants to sleep with you (and you’re unaware of it) or he already has in the past. Either way, he DAMN SURE doesn’t need to know what’s going on in our relationship/marriage!

 

10. Sex and children are not weapons!
If you manipulate a man by using sex and children, you will eventually find yourself by yourself! Or there’s the alternative: you find yourself with a man who truly does not want to be with you but has no choice, because he wants to see his child. When it comes to sex, it can only hold a weak man hostage. Strong men who have their lives together understand that they have many options. Some of which, are better options than you are.

 

11. Mind games never work!
Even if you manage to manipulate a man, sooner or later he’ll become aware of your manipulation and he will resent you for it. Thinking that you are slicker than a can of oil, can only lead you to slip up! Men respect women who can be open and honest with them. After all, isn’t that what you want in a man?

 

12. Don’t go through our phones, our computers or through our cars without our permission.
When you choose to become a private detective in your relationship/marriage, you’re telling us that you don’t have any trust in us at all! Once the trust is broken, you have nothing left to stand on in your relationship. You are not Sherlock Holmes, you are not Nancy Drew, and you damn sure are not Joey Greco from the TV show Cheaters. If you have questions and concerns, open your mouth and address him like an adult. If you can’t do this, and you feel the need to snoop, you might as well leave the relationship.

 

13. If you have one or more friends who is a slut, most men will tend to believe that you probably are a slut as well.
While that sounds particularly harsh, it’s how men’s brains are wired. Even if you’re not a slut or a whore, why would you condone the behavior of your “friend” who acts like one? That makes as much sense as a man who has a friend who does not take care of his children. Or about as much sense as a man who has a friend who cheats on his wife. If you’re woman with even the smallest ounce of self-respect, you would question us the same way that we would question you if you had a friend who was as open as a Waffle House in the middle of Georgia.

 

14. Don’t Listen to the Media!
I can assure you that when information is put out of about Black men and Black women, it is done for one purpose and one purpose alone: Ratings! The media is in the business of Ratings, Revenue & Entertainment, not in the business of serving the Black community and Black women in a way that will uplift and empower them. Black men are not all gay or on the “Down Low”! Black men are not all in jail/prison! There are plenty of us who are educated, eligible, hard working and who are willing to love you unconditionally if given the chance. You have to be willing to come to the realization that your “Knight in shining armor” may come in the form of a plumber, mail carrier, or small business owner.

 Men lie, women lie, the numbers don’t, but numbers can be manipulated to say whatever you want to say.

15. Stop using Beyoncé as a life coach!
In recent years, Beyoncé, along with several other R&B artists have made these “Women’s Empowerment Anthems” that have led women to believe that they can throw us “to the left”. Contrary to public opinion and prior belief, if you “bust the windows out of our cars”, we’re going to press charges against you. If you spend your time looking for a “Sponsor”, and Honestly Believe That “If We Liked It Then We Should’ve Put a Ring on it”, then you truly don’t understand what we’re all about. To us when we hear a woman say that she wants a “sponsor”, we hear that she’s trying to use her vagina and good looks for money. Believe it or not, most men don’t want a prostitute. Also, when we Love you, we will “put a ring on it”, and not a minute before we’re ready. Finally, Beyoncé may talk a good game on records and in videos, but what most of you are failing to realize is that she is a very Happily Married Woman! Beyoncé is also the woman who wrote the song “Cater to You”, but for some strange reason you don’t go around quoting that one!

Ladies, these views are my personal take on things that my friends and I have always had issues with when it came to Black women. I hope you take this letter and the spirit of honesty, and not turn it into an attack on all Black Women.

You’re loved, honored, and respected, but like some Black men, some of you need to get it together.

 

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Comments
  1. colonda says:

    I think these are things women should already know about men. What is sad is that a lot of women rushed out to buy this “women empowerment” book by Steve Harvey, what a great way to make a rich man richer by doing absolutely nothing. I mean personally no man or woman that has been married 3 times would be able to tell me anything about relationships let alone me spend my money for it. What can someone tell you that life hasn’t taught you? Some people just don’t take the time to apply what they have learned from the previous relationship to the next relationship and the men are the one’s getting the finger pointed at them. I like the fact that this site is nothing but random thoughts because it will always be fresh, interesting and unpredictable. I look forward to seeing what random thoughts would come up next.

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